Friday, January 30, 2009

A Change for the Better

It was a quiet morning in Bronx, New York. Nicholas had just woken up to the sound of traffic outside, cars honking and people yelling. He rolled over and looked at his alarm clock; 9:16. It was a weekend, but he figured that now that he was awake he’d just stay awake. He got up out of his bed and went to the bathroom and got dressed. Nicholas lived all alone in the city, had a few friends here and there, but was very lonely. He had no family because they all had died in a plane crash on their way to Cape Cod for a vacation. He had stayed home because he wasn’t feeling well, and some of his family members were avaricious, but he still missses them. Occasionally he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming because even though it was 6 years later andad even though he was now 21, he would have nightmares about the accident. Although he had gone through so much, he was still stalwart.

Nicholas didn’t really like the city that much.There were always bevies of hoodlums in the streets. It was too noisy and he had always dreamed to live in the country. To have a farm out far, maybe in Oklahoma. A big farm with chickens, pigs, cow and horses. A ranch like the ones that you see in old movies. Most of all, he wanted a place for himself, somewhere quiet and peaceful. Not with people running around, yelling and honking their horns. He had started to save up his money, too. He had a job at an art gallery, and was a very ledgerdmain artist. Art had always been a hobby of Nicks. He liked to draw and paint pictures of people. In his living room he has a picture that he drew of his family.Since Nicholas didn’t work on the weekends he didn’t have to rush and get ready. He threw on a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, and plopped himself on the couch to watch the news. “Oh, look. Another robbery! Don’t you just love the city?” He watched them talk about some lady’s house burning down, and then turned it off.

He was hungry so he decided to go to the local diner to grab a bite to eat.The diner that he went to was called “Egg and I”. It was his favorite diner! He had known everyone there, but today, there was a new girl. She quickly seated him and took his order. “And what can I get for you today?” she said in her most polite voice. He told her “Ill take the number 6 with 3 hash browns and a glass of Orange Juice, please.”He ordered his food and then ate it quietly. He noticed that the girl’s name was Erin, and then called her over. "Yes, what can i do for you?” she asked. "Would you care to accompany me later on this evening?” he said trying to sound as sophisticated as possible. "Like a date?...Well I get off of work at 5 so pick me up? Then she walked away. He couldn’t believe that shed actually said yes!"I had just met the girl, but I can just feel something, she’s special!” he thought. Nick left the money on the table and left. Nicholas then looked at his watch.

It was about noon. What to do next, he thought. He decided to go back to his home.When he got back home, he couldn’t stop thinking about the beautiful Erin. How her long, straight brown hair shined, how her blue eyes glimmered! Her figure was good, not too pudgy, yet not too gaunt. He figured since he kept thinking about her, that he had drawn a portrait of her. So he got out his pencil and paper and got to work-for about 2 hours!! But he wanted to make it deftly, and capture every last stunning detail of her, and make it with extreme effort and love. Wait-did he love her? Was this love at first sight? Did she love him, or was she just saying yes to him to be nice? Oh, so many things were racing through Nicks head; he couldn’t wait to see her! It was as if God had bestowed her upon him, for whatever reason!

Nicholas didn’t know what to do next. Even though it was only abound 2 o'clock, he started to get ready for his date. He took a shower and got all nice and spiffy.When he was all done getting ready he looked at his clock and it was 4:45. He then got in his car and drove to go pick her up.. So he got there and honked his horn once and she ran out. They drove back to the house and watched a scary movie on the couch. At first, their relationship was a bit inept, but soon it changed.

When the movie was over Nick decided to show Erin the portrait of her, and she was blown away!"I feel like I’m looking in a mirror!".“Well, I feel like I’m looking at a princess!" he said, looking into her iridescent eyes.Even though she thought that his line was corny she smiled. So Nick cooked spaghetti for dinner. Erin loved it. One of the things that Nick loved most about Erin was how benign she was! Therer was nothing vague about her; Nick felt as if hed known her forever and knew everything about her.

Then a little bit later she fell asleep on the couch. He laid down next to her and fell asleep with her. The next morning Erin had the day off so the new couple spent it together. Nick showed her some of his artwork,took a trip to Nick's art gallery, and both were iquisitive about one another so they talked. He started to tell her about his dream to live in the country and, surprisingly, she had always wanted to live there too! So they decided that if all goes well in their relationship and they’re still together, they’ll raise enough money to fulfill their wishes!

So after a few years of being together they got married, and after working extra shifts, the two of them raised enough cash, and bought a house out in Nebraska. It was a brown house and a big red barn, mostly bovine, but filled with other animals too! They had a happy, tacit relationship. Soon after, Erin got pregnant with a little baby girl and named her Isabelle. Their lives were perfect and complete. Everyday felt like a hiatus! Erin became a stay-at-home mom, and Nick created his own art studio in the house. And the rest was just a big happy ending!!!!!!!!!!!!THE END!

2 comments:

Allie said...

Author's Notes:
The best type of peer editing is when youre honest and not just nice-tell me what i need to improve,so i can. Also, i want the reader to understand whats going on in the story.:)

Allie said...

VOCABULARY LIST:
1)avarice: being very mean/selfish. Some people in the story were avaricious.

2)stalwart: strong. Nick had gone through so much, and was stalwart.

3)benign: kind/gentle. Nicks girlfrien was benign.

4)inquisitive: questionative. Nicks girlfriend was inquisitive about nick.

5)vague: unclear. She thought of Nick as vague at first.
6)bevy:group. There was a bevy of hoodlums in the streets of N.Y.C.

7)inept: clumsy, akward. The 2 were both inept at the start of there relationship.

8)gaunt: thin/bony. Erin was not gaunt.

9)iridescence: a rainbow-like play of color. Nick saw iridescence in his girlfriend's eyes.

10)tacit: silently understood. Their relationship was so special, they were tacit.

11)legerdmain: skilled. Nick was a skilled artist.

12)pudgy: short and plump. Erin was not pudgy.

13)deftly: with skill. When Nick did art, he did it deftly.

14)bestowed: togive as a gift. Nick thought of Erin as a gift.

15)bovine: relating to cows. The new couple bought a bovine farm.

16)hiatus: a break/interuption/ vacation. Everyday felt like a hiatus for the couple!

[i accidentally put 16 words instead of 14!!!OOPS!:)]